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Below are the 5 most recent journal entries recorded in deathoftheshogun's LiveJournal:

    Friday, June 15th, 2001
    9:42 pm
    sleep.....sleep.........need to sleep
    i'm so beat. i just can't sleep in this hot weather. i'm having so many dreams in one night it's killing my brain. i have not been kickboxing all week. i know if i went feeling like this i would get sick. i can't wait for fall. i've been thinking myself crazy. so much to think about these days. what am i gonna do with my life...music? as i love playing music i don't think i'll ever get an assload of money for playing. that's fine , i just want to play. fuck being a rock star, they suck. maybe school, but what would i take? i think school, at this point ,would just be me fooling myself into thinking i'm doing great things with my life. really i'd just fall into debt. what i've been thinking about the most is lauren. i want to know what she thinks. i want to know more about her. i'm so into what and how she thinks.

    Current Mood: crazy
    9:42 pm
    sleep.....sleep.........need to sleep
    i'm so beat. i just can't sleep in this hot weather. i'm having so many dreams in one night it's killing my brain. i have not been kickboxing all week. i know if i went feeling like this i would get sick. i can't wait for fall. i've been thinking myself crazy. so much to think about these days. what am i gonna do with my life...music? as i love playing music i don't think i'll ever get an assload of money for playing. that's fine , i just want to play. fuck being a rock star, they suck. maybe school, but what would i take? i think school, at this point ,would just be me fooling myself into thinking i'm doing great things with my life. really i'd just fall into debt. what i've been thinking about the most is lauren. i want to know what she thinks. i want to know more about her. i'm so into what and how she thinks.

    Current Mood: crazy
    Thursday, June 14th, 2001
    3:47 pm
    a manny manny man..........now you're a man!!!
    i am the happiest guy alive!! she didn't run! she didn't build any walls! i must have had the biggest smile on my face at work today. everything is right. everything is beautiful. i feel it coming. it's going to hit hard. now if i could only find out what "it" is. i wish wade was here. i have all this game. i need to do something. i'm going to burst!! he could sing a country song for me....that's what i need to hear right now. thank god for the "townboy". i must go now and act like a happy retard.

    Current Mood: excited
    Sunday, June 10th, 2001
    1:30 am
    where is my mind
    all i can do is think about her. she is now everything. i wonder what she would think if she knew that. will she ever know how much she means to me? hard to say this is. talking to her on the phone till we both fell asleep was the best thing ever. i know it sounds silly, but it was so nice. i wish i could fall asleep like that every night. i'm still not 100% sure if she has these same feelings. maybe i should just kiss her. i'm such the wuss when it comes to "making the move", but i guess it has to be done. sorry this "event" is so sappy and what not, but i can't stop thinking about her. i have to get this out. lauren is in my head and i hope she never leaves.

    Current Mood: weird
    Saturday, May 26th, 2001
    7:17 pm
    i'm ok......you're ok, and that there's what it is
    so here it is, the first entry. i'm not sure how to start this off. maybe i should start by saying i hate dayton and this house!! i'm so full of hate these days. sure it never really shows, but it's there. i'd like to think it's cause i live in dayton ohio and i'm not in a band for the first time since high school. if i moved would i be any happier? even if i moved out of dayton and still felt like a piece of shit it would be better than wasting away wondering "what if". when i move i'd like my best friend ryan to come too. if anyone needs to get out of this town it's him. the only thing i would miss around here i where i kickbox. the guy who teaches me is awesome. he's a nut. you know....i'm sick wit dis!!
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